So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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