My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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