Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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