we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
