wanna go halves on a baby?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
