the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I lost the right to judge tonight
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
