We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
