Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
