I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Pants are for mortals
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
