My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
