the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
