His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
