turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I understand Curling. That high.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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