you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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