i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
50% drunk capacity currently
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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