it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
