She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
His nipple licking is glorious
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