Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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