Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
