can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
