Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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