he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
