Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
