did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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