the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
