i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
