You smell like a Billy Joel song
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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