I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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