the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
