Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize