sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
