Pappa wants mamma naked
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
