I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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