yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
