finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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