I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
