Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
