So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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