I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
