you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
