Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I have fence marks all over my body
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
