we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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