: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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