Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
