I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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