Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
