i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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