My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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