I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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