I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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